Tapering off this drug started on January 18th, the day after I visited both my doctors and received a tapering schedule.  When I began my tapering I started using a method of reducing 10% (6 mg) every week.  My doctor recommended a two week method, but cannot continue to endure this for 20 weeks (5 months).  I have already lost 21 months of my life, and havent worked in a year.  I will try to do this in 10 weeks (2.5 months). 

FEBRUARY 21 2008 - TAPERING CHANGES:

SUPPLEMENTS

Just an FYI to anyone trying to taper – I am also Omega 3, B-12, as well as other vitamins and a probiotic formula. I was taking 5HTP and St. John's Wort, but was concerned about Serotonin Syndrome so I discontinued these.  Benadryll seems to slow down the jitters inside a bit and possibly curb the electric zaps.  I think this might be because it slows down the body functions and makes me tired.  I also have Dramamine on hand – as I heard it helps with the nausea.   I’m trying to go all natural – I think I have had enough of putting harmful drugs into my body.

Not a good week.  Achiness has gotten worse.  Dont want to get out of bed.  My head feels like there is a cloud surrounding it, and everything seems to be in a time warp.  Everyday tasks seem difficult, and just walking to the bathroom feels like a marathon.  Head flashes have occurred several days this week.  Itchiness and restless legs at night.  I cant seem to sleep at night, but sleep almost all day.  When I want to sleep I cant though.  I am trying to eat much healthier this week - eliminating sugars and salt from my diet, as well as preservatives....basically natural foods and upping the protein.  Eating small meals more frequently when actually awake. I am hoping this will boost my metabolism and my energy level which are both dragging drastically.  I want to just curl up and die this week.  I am so tired and exhausted.  My head is killing me and the dizziness and disorientation are taking its toll on me.

I am concerned about lowering the dosage again before the hard symptoms let up a bit, but will attempt it.  If its too intolerable, I will go back to the 42 mg dose.

Feb 9th:  I did end up waiting a couple extra days before reducing the dose down again.  I am now at 36 mg.  I am still concerned about the symptoms, and not waiting until they got a little milder.  I ache everywhere, and am completely exhausted - even though I am not doing anything.  It is hard to make it from the bed to the bathroom.  I am an irritable cranky bitch most of the time, and the only thing I want to do is sleep.  The head whooshes aren't that bad if I stay in bed and don't move much.  I have a bad headache today as well.  I suppose its just an all around crappy day.  I just want this to be OVER!!!

Feb 10th:  This has been the worst day ever.  The agitation is horrible and I itch everywhere.  If I move my eyes just a little the head zaps are very electrical.  Sometimes if I just breathe too hard they occur.  They are one on top of the other and havent stopped for hours. Tinnitus is going full blast in both ears, and between that and the head zaps my head is KILLING me!  I am completely exhausted even though I have slept on and off all day.  I can barely move and everything aches.  I cant stand this. I am highly irritated with everything and everyone around me, and I just cant get anyone to understand how horrible I feel.  Earlier today my mother commented that maybe I should be tapering slower, then later on yelled at me, "When the hell are you going to feel better".  I have no control over this and its frustrating.  Frustrating is an understatement.  There is no word to describe this.  I just want to curl up and die and make this go away.

Feb 12th:  I felt better today as opposed to earlier this week.  My head is whooshing, but not nearly as electrified as it was previously.  I had a little more energy, but am still exhausted and want to sleep. I wonder if this will ever go away.  I just want my normal life back.  I want to work again.  I want my friends back.  This is no way to live.

I found out some disturbing information this week.  Several of my former co-workers have informed me that my previous Management Team is informing people that I was fired because I made up an illness to go on Medical Leave.  This was very upsetting.  Not only do I have to live with the outrageous crappy symptoms, and I lost my job, but now my reputation is being compromised and I look like a criminal to the people that used to be like family to me.  This is just WRONG!!   Besides being outraged, I am ashamed to talk to people I worked with now. 

I am now at 30mg.  I am thrilled that at least I don't have to open capsules and count the little pellets this week.  I suppose thats one positive aspect of this week.

Feb 18th:  The last two days have been very miserable.  I have been sleeping on and off all day for days.  If I sleep so damn much, why am I still so tired.  Today is a little better than the previous days though.  I ache everywhere and feel like Ive been hit by a truck.  Every little noise makes my head whoosh or flash.  The amount of electric shock varies.

Feb 20th:  Today has been better than the past few days.  The worst part of the tapering appears to be the first few days after the lowering of the dosage.  Electrical zaps still seem to be bad when it is close to the next dose for the day. Headache is not too bad today.  Sleeping is getting out of hand, and I am exhausted when I am not sleeping.  It snowed today!  I go to the doctor tomorrow.  I'm going back to sleep now.








Feb 21st:  Went to see Doctor Dario today.  Was a very long and ill experience to get there.  We decided to change the tapering schedule to a reduction of 6 pellets per day, which is 0.687mg approximately per day.  This is in hopes of lessening the effects I was experiencing the first few days of the taper each week.  Tonight I did reduce by 6 pellets.  I went to sleep shortly thereafter, and woke up vomiting and with unbearable head zaps.  I hope this is not an indication of how this new tapering is going to work.  I am extremely tired, but too nauseous to sleep.  My head is spinning, and my stomach is queasy.  I just want this over with!!




Feb 24th:  Sleepy, dizzy, irritable.  Feeling hopeless about this whole ordeal.  I wonder seriously if it will ever be over, and if it ever is - will things be back to normal in my head.  I know that things will never be back to normal in my life.  I try hard not to think of this because it is upsetting and makes me more depressed or anxious than I already am.   I have no job and no money -- and at this point I have no health.  I cant stay awake, I am constantly hungry, constantly exhausted and cant even muster up the energy to clean the house.  My head is throbbing, and of course zapping.  It is insane that people have to live this way.  It is upsetting that Eli Lilly can do this to people, and I feel the need to make sure that people are aware of this nightmare so they dont have to go through this and ruin their life.  Im tired and upset.  Cant deal with this much longer.

Feb 26th: ANXIETY, ANXIETY, ANXIETY!  When I am not sleeping, I am experiencing really bad anxiety.  The panic over no money and no job, and no foreseeable date that I might be able to work again is really getting to me.  I feel like a pathetic waste of a person.


Feb 27th: It's been a rough week so far.  Days are blurring into one another.  Cant remember anything, head is killing me.  Im exhausted and yet I dont do anything.  My life is slipping away with my mind. 


Feb 29th: Took the dogs for a walk today at the nature conservatory.  Exhausted me after only 10 mins of walking and I wanted to crawl into bed again.  The snow is almost totally gone, and there isnt any more in the forecast - which bums me out, since I love the snow and its a little happiness in my life right now.  The head zaps were really bad last night and this morning.  I tried using oxygen (my doctor suggested it) - and other than making me more dizzy than I already was, I dont think it helped.

I am now down to 23.82mg of Cymbalta.  With the exception of the head zaps, excessive sleeping, dizziness, exhaustion, muscle pain, confusion and headaches - I feel just great. (haha).  I am trying to keep a sense of humor or I would completely lose my mind and go into complete depression.

I have been very happy with the feedback on this site, and the comments left for me on www.cymbaltawithdrawal.com - and the comments I am getting on YouTube.  It makes me realize that even though I am going through something horrible and completely unnecessary, I am making a positive impact in other people's lives by posting my story and trying to help others.  I think the most important thing right now - other than fighting Eli-Lilly to change their warnings and publishing a tapering schedule - is to support others during their withdrawal time.  I want to educate the public about the dangers of this drug, and perhaps keep others from having to go through this themselves!

March 8th:  I can't believe I havent written anything this week.   It's been a crappy week, and honestly its all just a blur.  I've had a few meltdowns, and a lot of headzaps.  I had to drive down to Phoenix this week, so I didnt taper for a couple days - I stayed steady...then I dropped a few days values at once so I could keep on schedule.  My life is just a complete mess, and I want to be 'normal' again.  I got to spend a little time with my daughter this week, so that was a great thing.



This was a decent week that turned miserable.  My daughter came to stay with me for a few days of Spring Break, which was wonderful...but wore me out tremendously.  It is a crushing reminder that I have no energy and just trying to run around doing 'normal' activities is just NOT possible while tapering this far down.  I am constantly tired, my head is buzzing and zapping, and I just cant function.  My memory has been in and out all week as well.  Emotionally things were not bad at all...except that I am frustrated with this crap.





I have been sick physically the majority of this week.  Once my daughter left I felt like I was having a physical breakdown.  I overworked myself so much while she was here simply taking her shopping, to the doctors, DMV, etc. It is crazy I cant do normal things without feeling dead.  Now that she is back to my sisters - I feel like I have the flu, and am practically immobile.  The achiness and head pain is just exhausting and unbearable.  I have been throwing up and having gastrointestinal problems all week.  I have stayed in bed the majority of the time, and am back to feeling totally useless.  I have been having memory problems, and problems typing...which is why I am so far behind on updating this site.  I get down on myself when this happens because I end up feeling ignorant - I cant spell, words come out wrong, sentences are backwards, and my thinking is just halted.  Its soooo frustrating - you have no idea.  I worry if this is permanent, or if oneday I will have back all of my functioning. 

It snowed this week...I love the snow.  I think its the end of snow season though.  I hate to see it go, but now the flowers are coming up...and I have a bunch of bulbs and rose bushes to plant.  I am excited about moving on with Spring and getting a new part of life going.  I just hope I start feeling better soon!

I am now down to 7 mgs of Cymbalta, and I still believe it is getting harder as the dosage gets lower.  I am miserable with this damn drug and just want off!!  Just another week and a half and I will be Cymbalta free.  Then the real withdrawal should begin.  I am really hoping that within a month or so I can be rid of all this.  This is the finish line...I just hope I can finish the race.





This was a terrible week.  March 31st was my last dose of Cymbalta.  I was down to just about 2mg, and should have waited until April 3rd, but decided I had gotten low enough to complete the tapering.  The lower the dose became, the worse the withdrawal became.  In the past week the head shocks and the itching has become almost unbearable.  My mood swings are the worst though.  I am crying one minute and laughing hysterically about absolutely nothing the next.  I feel so emotionally out of control.  I have such extreme anger inside and feel like hurting people.  Most of all I feel like hurting myself.  I cant stand who I have become.  I cannot stand what this drug has done to me.  I feel so useless, and I keep focusing on how pathetic my life has become.  I have no idea what my future holds or when I will be able to work or function like a normal human being once again.  I feel like I have lost everything.  My pride is gone, my hope is gone, my livelihood is gone.  I feel like I just dont belong in this world.  I have destroyed my family, I have lost my job, my friends are gone, and I have nothing left.  I am left with headaches, head shocks, itching, naseau, anger, irritability, exhaustion, stomach problems, and more.  What a nice prize.  I hate this drug.  I hate myself.  I hate everyone.







Tapering is now done and I have felt pretty crappy.  On April 3rd I went to my doctor and he prescribed Prozac for the withdrawal effects.  Luckily it comes in a generic form, Fluoxetine, since I refuse to take Prozac - as it is manufactured by Eli-Lilly.  Its nice to know that Eli-Lilly makes a drug that reduces the effects of one of their other drugs.  I keep thinking that Eli-Lilly should make a Cymbalta tapering package with lower and lower doses so that patients can safely get off this dangerous drug successfully.  My latest idea is that they add doses of Prozac to the tapering package to alleviate the withdrawal effects.  Personally I think it needs to be fully removed from the market, but if they insist on manufacturing it, and the FDA allows it, then at least they should have a tapering process with doses conducive to tapering.

Anyhow... The Fluoxetine seems to be working very well for the head shocks and the itching.. and irritability with mood swings.  It seems to have gotten me out of the funk I was in.  I am no longer crying obsessively over nothing.  I am emotionally more even than I was.  Not having the head shocks is amazingly wonderful.  I have been dealing with them for so long, and forgot what it was like to not have them.  I seem to be having really bad headaches - I am not sure if they were this bad before or if they feel worse now that I am having them without the head shocks present.  I am still extremely exhausted and feel like I have the flu all of the time.  My body aches everywhere, and just walking a little bit brings about back pain and joint pain.  Confusion seems to be up quite a bit.  I dont remember what I have done or havent done...and cannot recall events that just happened.  My head is in a fog - sort of a dreamlike state.  Trying to catch thoughts or memories as if I have just woken up from a dream I cant remember.   





I no longer hate everyone and myself.  Not thrilled with everyone, but the desire to hurt self and others has passed greatly.  I feel some hope is out there for getting things done and getting back on with life.  Dealing with guilt for destroying the lives of those around me, and owing everyone money or something.

The confusion is lightening up.  Headaches are still present.  I was hoping the tinnitus would ease up.  I would love to know what it is like the hear again.  Sometimes I feel like things are going well and the symptoms are reducing and I get anxious for them to all go away.  Other times I feel as though they will never go away.  I need to find the patience balance.  I need to have faith that this will all go away and I can feel 'normal' once again someday....hopefully someday soon.

I am still exhausted, but at times have bursts of energy - so that is a good sign.  My energy bursts last as long as the pain in my body allows them to.  I want to do things and feel energized enough to do things...but am stopped by the physical pain.  I hope this dissappears as well.  I need to get on with life.

Head fog is clearing a bit.  I can think for more than a couple minutes and actually seem to have some logic left in my head.  I didnt get my taxes done.  I cant even remember most of last year, and the tax instructions are hard enough without the mental issues going on.  Anxiety over things like this are getting to me.  Financial anxiety is killing me.

I am hoping things just continue to get better and better.